Monday, June 21, 2010

Pray Baby Pray!!! Why God Isn't Listening Anymore.

Oh, thank goodness for twitter. If it wasn't for the otherwise useless social networking site (remember when they were just called chatrooms?) I would never have seen this fine example of Sarah Palin's mental state:

@SarahPalinUSA Gulf disaster needs divine intervention as man's efforts have been futile. Gulf lawmakers designate today Day of Prayer for solution/miracle.

Wow. Okay. Well, let us presume that Sarah Palin's version of a god does exist. I hope he or she does not, because the existence of any entity as interpreted by Ms. Palin is a scary thought.

Here is what I would imagine god saying to her call for a massive pray-fest:

"Look, you morons. I purposely hid the oil under rocks, under water, under anything I could find so that you idiots wouldn't get your hands on it. I knew that if you did, all hell would break loose. But, NO, you guys had to go poking around and start taking it out of my carefully planned hiding places. And now look what you have done with it. You have burned it to the point where people can no longer breathe, the climate is changing, and the plastic bottles you made with the stuff are choking streams and rivers. On top of that, you have been fighting wars over the stuff. I kept it away from you for a reason!!! You see why now? And, to make it worse, every time something goes wrong as a result of the oil that I took great pains to hide, but you still found and started to use recklessly, you pray to me to make it better! When people get sick from pollution, you call on me. When people head off to war to fight over it, you call on me to protect them. Now, you've gone and destroyed the Gulf of Mexico, and who do you call? Me. Of course! What do you want me to do? You caused this. I hid it as deep as I could to keep it away from you. As far as I can see, I did my part. I am not listening anymore. Good luck with it all! Find some other sucker to pray to"

At least that is what god SHOULD be saying.

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