Saturday, July 9, 2011

Royal Boredom

Back in Canada now for a spell, and the main news here? Will and Kate! Yes, they came to Canada for a Royal tour. And there was no escaping the news coverage. Wall to wall, ceiling to ceiling, coast to coast, all Will and Kate, all the time. Oh it was a royal bombardment. It started out with Will and Kate are coming. Then, Will and Kate are here. Then Will and Kate did this. Will and Kate did that. Will and Kate, Will and Kate, Will and Kate.

Now, I do find the English Monarchy interesting. I have enjoyed watching them over the years. I once met Sarah Ferguson, you know, back when she was still part of the Royal Family. I saw Prince Charles and Camilla on their wedding day. I like to do a bit of Royal watching.

But, I have to be honest with you. I am not a fan of Will and Kate. Why, you say? They are so frickin' BORING! Their squeaky clean, perfectly pressed, always smiling, always waving, always gentile ways are just plain DULL! There is nothing exciting about these two. They are being billed as the great saviours of the English Monarchy. They are loved, people are showing up in droves to see them, they are the apple of so many people's eye. But, they are so painfully generic and blah that even watching them on TV makes me want to wretch at their ultra-sugary sweetness.

I want Prince Harry to get married. Now that guy is exciting. He's constantly making gaffs like his dad and his grandfather. He's more rough around the edges. He's interesting! Charles? Oh, he's such a unique old fuddy, duddy, with his organic gardening and his wacky ideas. Phillip? Oh man, he is gold! If his mouth is open, he is generally putting his foot into it. Will and Kate? Dull as the dullest dull thing there could possibly be.

These do-gooder, friendly, warm, smiling, thoughtful, considerate, clean, well spoken, poker straight, perfectly groomed Will and Kate people? BLAND as stale oatmeal with no added sweeteners or preservatives. Thanks a lot Will and Kate for sucking out all of the fun of watching the Royal family. Now please, start having some affairs or developing some addictions, and don't come back until you do!

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