Monday, April 12, 2010

Damn Kids and Their Baggy Pants....AGAIN!

Crazy punk kids.

From the webpages of North Bay, Ontario's, comes a harrowing tale from the North Bay Police Department's "Beat" from March 30th, 2010.


On the 29th of March at approximately 8:45 PM it is alleged that a female was walking on Johnston Rd. listening to her IPod when she was suddenly accosted by a lone male. This male then grabbed her silver coloured IPod and as the victim tried to keep her ear plugs she was pushed to the ground. The attacker then fled westbound to a nearby van and left the area. The victim remembers having seen the van pass her before the attack and it is described as being an older model Caravan, burgundy or maroon in colour with grey bottom panels. She also described the van as being noisy and “clunky”. The attacker is described as being white, 6’ tall, slim build with short brown hair and longer in the front. He wore baggy bottom blue jeans, a dark coloured ECKO hoodie and beige shoes.


I have taken the liberty of highlighting the parts of this story that made me, literally, laugh out loud. First off, indeed, the immediate thing you should consider saving when having your ipod stolen, is the earphones! Ipods are a dime a dozen. Earphones, however, are rare as gold. Noisy and "clunky"? Well, that's just plane hilarious. I'm surprised they didn't say something like "It went chug, whirrrrrrrrr, zing, pop, chugga, chugga" or something equally as descriptive. It's a petty, stupid thing to bring up, but it DID make me laugh, I cannot lie to you. Knowing Northern Ontario as I do, I am positive that noisy and clunky sums up the sound a vast majority of vehicles in the region make. And, of course, the baggy bottom jeans! Who else would steal a girls ipod but a kid in baggy jeans, I ask you?? Damn kids and their baggy pants, always causing trouble, stealing ipods and kicking puppies! Speaking of stealing, I wonder how many songs on that ipod were illegally downloaded? I'm just saying, that's all.

Fortunately, there is a happy ending....


This coming Sunday the 4th of April Constable Sue Solman will facilitate the presenting of an iPod to the woman that was robbed of one yesterday.
We had released that this women had been robbed on Monday the 29th of March at 8:45 PM while walking on Johnston Rd.
This release prompted a concerned citizen to call the officer in question and offer a substitute iPod.
This will be facilitated on Easter Sunday by the officer.
Any media agency that wants an opportunity to have photos and a possible story on this are requested to call the officer direct at 497-5555 on Sunday the 4th of April.


That's the kind of thing that you won't see happen in the big city folks! After reading this, my faith in humanity has been restored....but I still hold on to my hatred of those DAMN KIDS and their BAGGY PANTS!!!!

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